Torn Asunder
by Tinni
Summary: What if Makoto dies following the events of episode 5? How would Haru handle it? (A/N: I just wanted to play with a broken Haru)


**Torn Asunder**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

* * *

Makoto was breathing hard as he pulled Rei from the swell. Rei lay on the sand breathing hard as the rain beat down on his back.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa had cried, "That was dangerous!"

"Sorry," Rei had managed to force out, "Sorry..." he repeated.

"Are you okay?" Haru asked as he crouched down next to Makoto. Makoto smiled at Haru but was too winded to say anything, "You scared me," Haru said, his tone a little harsh.

"Sorry Haru-ch..." Nagisa had launched himself at Makoto, colliding with his chest, wanting to give him a hug. An innocent enough gesture but Makoto staggered back, clutching his heart...

"Makoto?" asked Haru, a rising panic was filling his body, "Makoto!" Haru screamed as Makoto collapsed on the ground and the world went black.

* * *

No one spoke to Haru. They didn't know what to say. Haru didn't care. He prefered the silence. The sensei who replaced Ama-chan, who had resigned in disgrace after the incident, had clearly been instructed to leave Haru be and he did. Haru might as well have been invisible and if was preciously because he was treated this way that he had continued to come to school.

Lunch time rolled around. Haru didn't bother to leave his seat. "Haru-chan," came Nagisa's voice from the door. It was no longer full of energy and joy. Had not been since that incident.

Haru turned a moment to spy him, Rei and Gou standing at the doorway. An unreasonable amount of hatred swelled-up in his heart at the sight of these three. These three idiots were the ones, they were the ones to blame for everything!

"Get out," Haru stated in a quite commanding tone before turning back to look out the window. Haru heard a sob, he wasn't sure from whom but it was followed by footsteps leading away and that made him happy.

Halfway through lunch Haru had, had enough and decided to just go home. No one stopped him. The doctors had said it was an accident. But it wasn't unheard off. They spoke of cases in the US where a star baseball player took ball to the chest and collapsed. No way to save him without a defibrillator on hand. They weren't sure why it happened. Why perfectly healthy athletes whose hearts should be a well trained muscle would suddenly suffer from erratic heart rhythm simply from being hit on the chest but there it was. But it didn't matter to Haru. All he cared about was the fact that there was no longer anyone beside him.

Haru stopped by the convenience store and bought a popsicle. Without thinking he had bought one of those popsicles with two handles, the kind you are meant to share. Still not thinking he split the popsicle in two and held one out for Makoto to... oh... Haru threw both pieces into the trash as he continued heading home. He wanted a bath.

Haru knew full well he had a co-dependency issue with the water. He had discovered it in Elementary school when he realised he was running away into the water, letting it put him at ease, shielding him from reality and helping him hide his true feelings. In retrospect it was probably his mother's doing. Whose solution to a teary Haru returning home complaining about how he had been teased yet again because of his ridiculously girly name was to draw a bath and put him in it. "Let's take a bath and forget all our trouble," she would say.

After Haru learnt to swim the water became even more of a refuge. If only because swimming in the cool blue water filled him with so much joy. If he could, he would live in the water forever. The water where he always felt at peace. "Why am I still on shore?" Haru wondered randomly, "Why do I get out now when there is no Makoto to pull me out?" He didn't have an answer. Maybe this time he won't bother getting out...

Rin was waiting for him outside his house when he got there. "Gou called me," he replied when Haru shot him a surprised and questioning look, "She was worried."

"Tell her to stop," replied Haru, "And buzz-off."

"Not until we talk," Rin countered.

Haru ignored him and went into the house and started to strip. Rin followed, closing the door behind him and let Haru strip down to his swimsuit but blocked his path as he headed to the bathroom, "Get out of my way," cried Haru.

Rin did not even flinch, "We need to talk and the sooner we do, the sooner you get to go drown your sorrows and contemplate drowning yourself as well."

Haru flinched, "How..."

"Wild guess," replied Rin, his face hardening, "You are not the only one in the room who lost someone before their time. Hell if we are keeping score I lost two people. My father and Makoto, or did you forget he was my friend too?"

"A friend you discarded," Haru countered, "You didn't even acknowledge Makoto when we all ran into each other in the old swim club and treated him as some background detail not worth your attention every other time we ran into each other."

"You don't have to tell me I acted like a freaking jerk!" Rin all but screamed, "I know! And its worse because he gone and I can't ever ask his forgiveness for treating him like that. But if you think I didn't care about Makoto you are dead wrong."

Haru opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Why was Rin bothering him? He wished Rin would just say whatever he came to say and just leave! Haru wanted his bath.

Rin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then said as calmly and evenly as he could, "You need to leave Haru. Leave Iwatobi before you do something stupid. This town... I know that almost every day you spent in this town you spent with Makoto. You probably couldn't even name one place in this whole town that does not hold some memory for you that included Makoto. You can't stay here, Haru."

"Do you have a soulmate Rin?" wondered Haru suddenly.

Rin blinked, "No," he replied, "At least I haven't found them."

"I don't believe you find your soulmate," said Haru looking off to the distance, "Rather if you are really lucky, one of the people in your life becomes your soulmate. Sure there is something about them that sets them apart from all the other people in your life. A starting block from which you can dive in. But after you dive... something happens in the water that end-up tying your souls together. Maybe its a the length of time you swim side by side, the ripples you create in the water together or maybe its just that you swim with the same intent in your heart. I don't really know. What I do know is that Makoto was my soulmate."

Haru turned to Rin and fixed him with eyes so full of anguish and Rin shuddered, "I didn't lose a friend, a brother, a lover or whatever other names you give to the connection between two people. When Makoto died, my soul was torn asunder. No matter where I go, what I do, how much time passes, nothing will change. Half my soul is gone and it will never return."

"I didn't once say you would ever get over it," Rin pointed out, "But Haru, if you let yourself stay in the water until it decided to keep you forever, the person you will hurt the most will be Makoto. I am not going to say something stupid like if Makoto was here because of course if he was here, we wouldn't be having this conversation. What I will say is that once you go, so will your memories. Especially those you shared with Makoto. I mean, Makoto was as dense a block of ice as you are. He hid behind a smile, just as you hide behind a stoic mask. I bet even his parents and siblings didn't know him, at least not like you did. Are you really okay with letting those memories die? In what corner of your waterlogged brain did that sound like a good idea to you?" Rin wondered, his tone a mixture of anger and annoyance.

Haru didn't answer, he had nothing more to say and hoped Rin would just get bored and leave. Realising that the conversation was at an end, Rin sighed and started to leave. "Think about what I said," he urged as he left the house, "Leave Iwatobi, Haru. There is nothing left for you here."

As soon Rin left Haru headed to the bathroom. He drew himself a bath and sat down, ready to let the water sooth and release him. It did not. Even the water had abandoned Haru. Tears started dripping down his cheeks as he just gave-up, gave-up trying to be strong and everything else that had once seemed so important and for once let his true emotions flow free.

Once the tears finally stopped, Haru dragged himself out and dug out his phone from his discarded pile of cloths and called his mother, "Mom, can I come join you and dad? I am done with Iwatobi. It's not home anymore..." and never will be again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I saw a really heart warming Mako/Haru gif set on Tumblr that made me realise that Makoto and Haru were soulmates. Not necessarily in the romantic sense. People often make the mistake into thinking your soulmate has to be your lover but that's rubbish! Your soulmate can be your sibling or a best friend to whom you aren't romantically attracted to etc, etc. Your soulmate is just someone who you have a deep, deep connection with and that's certainly true of Makoto and Haru. Being the horrible person I am I thought "I want to play with a broken Haru!" and thus was born this fic...

Also, yeah that actually does happen in real life. There were a few cases with high school athletes in the US where they took a blow to the chest while their heart rate was elevated (because they were in the middle of playing their respective sports) and just dropped dead. I got Nagisa to accidentally kill Makoto because I don't like Nagisa and plus he's the kind of doofus who would try to energetically hug someone so hard that he ends-up killing them.


End file.
